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Текст (слова) песни: Adam Sandler - The Buffoon And The Dean Of Admissions



"And now a buffoon`s meeting with the dean of admissions at a prestigious college."

[Dean:] "Well Michael, I would like to extend my warmest congradulations

on your upcoming graduation and I understand

you are interested in matriculating here in the fall."

[Buffoon:] "I got a snake, man!"

[Dean:] "Yes, pets are welcome here on campus.

Be it the traditional dog, or cat, or even the occasional reptile."

[Buffoon:] "One time I fed it some beer man! It was slithering this way and that!

It was all fucked up!"

[Dean:] "I`m sure it was.

Well we discourage inappropriate drinking among both students

and pets here on campus."

[Buffoon:] "Fuckin` Shit!"

[Dean:] "Yes, that`s a not uncommon reaction to this policy.

So tell me a little bit more about your background."

[Buffoon:] "My father`s a fucking asshole, man!"

[Dean:] "Hmm, I see. Your feelings of rebelion are not unusual at your age son."

[Buffoon:] "My mother`s a piece of shit too!"

[Dean:] "Well, I hope you can find an outlet for your hostility

over the summer so you can come to school in the fall relaxed

and ready to learn."

[Buffoon:] "My teacher in high school was a stupid bitch, man!

She had her head way up her ass!"

[Dean:] "Well the quality of the faculty at a University

such as ours far exceeds that of a local public high school."

[Buffoon:] "Your secretary`s a real fat bitch, man!"

[Dean:] "Yes, she`s tried many diets over the years with minimal success."

[Buffoon:] "I had diarhea last month. I had to shit all fucking day!"

[Dean:] "Uh huh, Well we all get the occasional stomach bug,

never a pleasurable experience.

So have you given any thought to your choice of major?"

[Buffoon:] "I`ve got a big fucking boner right now."

[Dean:] "I see. Well sexual arrousal is not uncommon during periods

of nervous tension. I do not take offense."

[Buffoon:] "One time I ate my neighbors shit!"

[Dean:] "That`s understandable. Well, I enjoyed meeting you.

We`ll be sending you our decision by the end of the month."

[Buffoon:] "I bet you got really hairy balls."

[Dean:] "Yes, it`s a veritable forest down there. Bye bye."

 

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