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Fourteen years Thirty minutes Fifteen seconds I`ve Held this grudge Eleven songs Four full journals Thoughts of punishment I`ve expended Not in contact Not a letter Such communication Telepathic You`ve been vilified Used as fodder You deserve a piece Of every record But who`s it hurting now? Who`s the one that`s stuck? Who`s it torturing now With an antique knot in her stomach? I want to be big and let go Of this grudge that`s grown old All this time I`ve not known How to rest this bygone I wanna be soft and resolved Clean of slate and released I wanna forgive for the both of us Like an abandoned house Dusty covered Furniture Still intact If I visit it now Will I simply re-live it Somehow gratuitous But who`s still aching now? Who`s tired of her own voice? Who is it weighing down With no gift from time of said healing I want to be big and let go Of this grudge that`s grown old All this time I`ve not known How to rest this bygone I wanna be soft and resolved Clean of slate and released I wanna forgive for the both of us Maybe as I cut the cord Veils will lift from my eyes Maybe as I lay this to rest Dead weight off my shoulders will rise Here I sit Much determined Ever ill-equipped To draw this curtain How this has entertained Validated And has served me well Ever the victim But who`s done whining now? Who`s ready to put down This load I`ve carried longer than I had cared to remember I want to be big and let go Of this grudge that`s grown old For the life of me I`ve not known How to rest this bygone I wanna be soft and resolved Clean of slate and released I wanna forgive for the both of us.
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