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in the jukebox of her memory
the list of names flips by and stops she closes her eyes and smiles as the record drops then she drinks herself up and out of her kitchen chair and she dances out of time as slow as she can sway for as long as she can say this dance is mine this dance is mine her hair bears silent witness to the passing of time tattoos like mile markers map the distance she has gone winning some, losing some she says my sister still calls every sunday night after the rates go down and i can never manage to say anything right my whole life blew up and now its all coming down and she says leave me alone tonight i just wanna stay home she fills the pot with water she drops in the bone she says, i`ve got a darkness that i have to feed i`ve got a sadness that grows up around me like a weed and i`m not hurting anyone i`m just spiraling in as she closes her eyes and hears the song begin again she appreciates the phone calls the consoling cards and such she appreciates all the people who come by and try to pull her back in touch they try to hold the lid down tightly and they try to shake well but the oil and water just want to separate themselves she drinks herself up and out of her kitchen chair and she dances out of time as slow as she can sway for as long as she can say this dance is mine this dance is mine this dance is mine
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