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Cuz I`m the high plains drifter, and I`m the drifter
The high plains drifter, and I`m the drifter They can`t find me they`re never gonna catch me They`re never gonna know that I`m the high plains drifter Pulled over to the river, to take a rest Pulled out a pair of pliers pulled a bullet out of my chest Fear and loathing `cross the country listenin` to my 8-track I reached behind the seat and snatched a Kool from the pack I`m long-distance from my girl and I`m talking on my cellular She said that she was sorry and I said yeah the hell you were check the rear view mirror check the gold tooth display check the odometer and I was on my way Cuz I`m the high plains drifter the best that you can get A strapped shoplifter a pirate on cassette Bust a Travis Bickle when I feel that I`m getting pushed Don`t step to me cuz you could be gettin` mushed I`m doing 120 plowin` over mailboxes Radar detector to tell me where the cops is Spend another night at the Motel 6 It`s five dollars extra to get the porno flicks And then I concoct a black and tan in my brandy snifter I`ma kleptomaniac K-mart shoplifter Cash flow gettin low so I had to pull a job Found a nice place to visit but a better place to rob I left the car outside and the engine still revving Time to take care of business at 7-eleven And the I went inside to make my withdrawl I saw what he had had but I had to take it all Knuclehead deli tried to gyp me off the price So I clocked him on the turban with a bag of ice Cuz I mellow like Jell-O cool like lemonade I made my get a way and then I thought that I had it made I feel like Steve McQueen, a Former movie star Looked in the rear view mirror seen the police car Ballentine quarts with the puzzle on the cap I couldn`t help to notice I was caught in a speed trap Dirty Mary Crazy Larry on the run from Dirty Harry Stash the cash in the dash, but my gun I did carry I`m seeing blue and red flashing deep in the night I got my alibi straight and I pulled over to the right The cop knocked on my window and said Boy, where`s the fire? You got a mailbox on your bumper and a bald front tire "Outta the car longhair!" Your goose is cooked Read me my rights fingerprinted and booked Making like a DT, driving a grand fury Wherever I hang my hat`s my home and my past is kind of blurry Every dog has his day mine will be in front of a jury High plains drifter you know that I`m never in a hurry Read me my rights as if I didn`t know this Threw me in the tank with a drunk called Otis With his 5 o`clock shadow he smelled of 3 day old beer My man turned to me and said, "Why are you here?" I said I`m charming I`m dashing I`m rental-car bashing I`m phony-paper passing at Nick`s Check and Cashing I went before the judge he sent my to the Brooklyn house of D. He said, "You behave or we`ll throw away the key" Houdini`d out the cuffs, kicked the screw in the knee I took the Bailiff`s wallet and went straight to OTB I had a good feeling easy come easy go I bet on one horse to win and another and so And sure enough, that nag came in Brought my ticket to the window and collected my win And I broke into my new car with a wire coat hanger Hot wired hot wheeled and, "Suzy is a headbanger"
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