I pulled into Memphis, I could not slow down My brakes were gone, I wrecked the car...fire on the ground Then my car exploded and the flames licked my chin And my life flashed before my eyes like an X-rated film Like a poison arrow my soul shot through the sky Landed there at heaven`s gate, much to my surprise And an angel with a halo walked up and said, "Hey, dude! Welcome to Heaven...we`ve got this glass of milk for you." (Chorus) I said, "Hey St. Peter, won`t you open up your gate... I hear the Devil calling, now please don`t make me late. He`s got loud guitars, alcohol, cheap Jamaican whores... I don`t want to stay in Heaven no more."
Well, Satan came a-running, said, "Hey, that boy is mine!" He had a John Hiatt T-Shirt and trouble in his eye Then the Devil on Cloud 7 and St. Peter on Cloud 4 Played a hand of poker, and the winner gets my soul
Chorus
Well the last thing I remember, Satan held two Jacks And I woke up in the back of a Memphis ambulance And I do not know for certain which cards St. Peter held So I`m breaking all ten commandments to make sure I go to Hell
Chorus
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