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I saw it advertised one day, Bear mountain picnic was comin my way. "come along n take a trip, Well bring you up there on a ship. Bring the wife and kids Bring the whole family." Yippee! Well, I run right down n bought a ticket To this bear mountain picnic. But little did I realize I was in for a picnic surprise. Had nothin to do with mountains. I didnt even come close to a bear. Took the wife n kids down to the pier, Six thousand people there, Everybody had ticket for the trip. "oh well." I said, "its a pretty big ship. Besides, anyway, the more the merrier." Well, we all got on n what dya think, That big old boat started t sink More people kept a-pilin on, That old ship was a-slowly goin down. Funny way t start a picnic. Well, I soon lost track of m kids n wife, So many people there I never saw in m life That old ship sinkin down in the water, Six thousand people tryin t kill each other, Dogs a-barkin, cats a-meowin, Women screamin, fists a-flyin, babies cryin, Cops a-comin, me a-runnin. Maybe we just better call off the picnic. I got shoved down n pushed around, All I could hear there was a screamin sound, Dont remember one thing more, Just remember walkin up on a little shore, Head busted, stomach cracked, Feet splintered, I was bald, naked. . . Quite lucky to be alive though. Feelin like I climbed outa m casket, I grabbed back hold of m picnic basket. Took the wife n kids n started home, Wishin Id never got up that morn. Now, I dont care just what you do, If you wanta have a picnic, thats up t you. But dont tell me about it, I dont wanta hear it, cause, see, I just lost all m picnic spirit. Stay in m kitchen, have m own picnic. . . In the bathroom. Now, it dont seem to me quite so funny What some people are gonna do fr money. Theres a bran new gimmick every day Just t take somebodys money away. I think we oughta take some o these people And put em on a boat, send em up to bear mountain . . . For a picnic.
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