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(C.W. McCall, Bill Fries, Chip Davis) YEE-HAW! Merciful sakes alive! You wanna be one a` them CBers, you gonna learn how to ratchetjaw! Pay attention now; I`m only gonna explain it to ya once. You gotta go runnin` amuck in a pick-`em-up truck With one a` those fancy sidebands? Get four-on-the-floor and two on the door Get a power mike in yer jaw-hand Prepare to strike when ya key the mike `Cause ya never know who`s a-listenin` Some clown insists on a 10-36 This here`s what you give `im: "Four, good buddy, I made me a study An` I figger it`s the dark a` the moon, son It`s half-past spring an` a quarter ta fall An` the big hand`s a-settin` on noon, son Now if the fish don`t bite and the almanac`s right And the groundhog sees his shadow A 10-36 goes tick-tock-tick." And that`s what I call ratchetjaw! Gotta git ya a base, out there at yer place With a forty-foot pole on the chimney With a thousand watts in yer flowerpots And a ree-mote line in the biffy If ya feel a twitch when ya throw the switch Ya gonna dim all the lights in Wichita Gonna send out a wave ta make the government rave And this here`s whatcha tell `em all: "Yeah, four, good buddy, yer comin` in cruddy But yer walkin` right through my wall, boy Yer carrier`s cool, you makin` me drool You were definitely battin` my ball, boy You hittin` me round about fifteen pound You cut me up like a bandsaw But what the heck, it`s just a radio check." And that there`s how to ratchetjaw [CB conversations. They`re overlaid, as if you`re listening to a party line.] [Woman`s voice] Breaker, breaker, breaker, breaker. We lookin` for that one Buffalo Roy out there. Buffalo Roy, what`s your twenty? Where are you anyway, Buffalo Roy? Are you out there? Come on in there, Buffalo Roy. 10-4. [Man`s voice] Lissen, you. Shut up on all them breakers. One breaker`s enough. [words missing]...channel all the time. Can`t hear a damn thing anybody`s sayin`. [C.W.] Buffalo Roy? That`s a dumb handle. Wanna feel some pain? Just turn up yer gain Get a fearful earful a` garbage Ta suppress a belch, just hit yer squelch You can cut out all the carnage You wanna have fun, you son-of-a-guns Just get on the press-ta-talk switch You gonna amuse `em an` really confuse `em With a little ol` thing called ratchetjaw Yeah, let them suckers think yer a trucker Say stuff they can`t understand, son Just bounce up-an`-down while yer toolin` around Gonna sound like a truck-drivin` man, son Just tell yer beaver that you gonna leave `er You catch her on the bounce-around If she comes back with a smart-off crack Say "X-Y-L, it`s show-an`-tell. We definitely got us to go now. Keep yer pants on honey, hang onto the money Yer X-Y-M`s gotta blow now Eighty-eight, thirds, and feed my bird An` all them numbers upon ya all If speed don`t kill, then CB will." And that`s what I call ratchetjaw [More CB conversations.] Breaker, breaker, breaker, breaker, breaker, breaker, [repeated almost ad infinitum, punctuated by bouts of laughter] [Man`s voice. Begins deep, slowly rising to Shirley and Squirrely squeakiness.] Yeah, 10-4, we got ya, breaker. Come back on that? Say, what kind a`... s`not? some kind a` cotton-pickin`... you puttin` me on, aren`t cha? Yeah, you puttin` me on, aren`t cha? [Laughter] 10-4. 10-4.
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