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Me an` Earl was workin` the superslab outside a` that Ogallala? When outta town come a local clown in a `65 Impala Had a `coon tail flyin` off a` his whip antenna We was haulin` a load a` them go-go girls Truckin` `em over to O-town Old boy got on his microphone Says "How`s about a little showdown?" Well, hot damn, I`m a gamblin` man, So ev`rybody get yer bets down `Cause this old truck gonna make us a buck Chicken in the bread pan, pickin` out vittles Swing them heifers and away we go Wake up, Earl, we gots to race that pile a` junk over ta North Platte city Well, one-eyed bears and deuces wild We got the back door pad-locked He says, "Bet five bucks and a side a` beef, "I can beat them cows ta Flat Rock." You hear that, Earl? He says he`s gonna whip Ol` Bessie here! I says, "Call your five and raise ya ten "Jes` kiss that Chevy goodby, boy "`Cause when Bessie hits that floatin` gear "You gonna be eatin` Hereford pie. Yeah." Well, hot damn, I`m a gamblin` man, So ev`rybody get yer bets down `Cause this old truck gonna make us a buck She gonna round them curves at thirty gees A trunk full a` cows an` a hood full a` bees Move it up a notch, Earl. Yeah, that`s it. That`s floatin` gear! C`mon Bessie! Well, tuck it on in and head it for the barn If we don`t win, we gonna sell the farm If this old wreck don`t break my neck, We gonna take them cows to a discatheque I says, "Come on, Earl, let`s give it a whirl. "That Chevy is a-pickin` up speed." Well, we crossed the Platte at a hundred flat Old Bessie was a-blowin` the weeds We definitely was in that Monfort lane. Yeah, we won the race with a bovine ace When the Chevy made a fatal pass Yeah, he got too close Got a terminal dose a` that good ol` Hereford gas. Phew! Hot damn, I`m a gamblin` man, So ev`rybody get yer bets down `Cause this old truck`s gonna make us a buck She`s rollin` the boulevard shakedown Hot damn, I`m a truckin` man And I sorta like ta put my foot down This old rig gonna blow your wig Got go-go girls and a Peterbilt cab Gonna see ya all out on the superslab for a showdown
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