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Now handsome guys get girls that are pretty Other guys get `em `cos they`re clever and witty But the only love I ever get, I get out of pity `Cos I`m the ugliest man in town I drive down the road in a Rolls Royce car Use hundred dollar bills when I light my cigar But still you know, that won`t get you very far When you`re the ugliest man in town There was a note on the doorstep where I was found It said this sweet child weighs eleven pounds So bring him up healthy and wealthy and stout Keep his back to the light, don`t let it turn around Yeah all you women you`re heartless and cold All you want is my silver and gold And don`t you know that there`s a beautiful soul Inside the ugliest man in town [Boy do I got plans for us] Yeah I`m so ugly I shave in the dark Kids start to cry when I walk through the park Clocks stop ticking and dogs start to bark Whenever I come around Yeah I walk down the street and the girls all hiss me If I die tomorrow not one of them would miss me Only reason they ball me is they can`t stand to kiss me I`m the ugliest man in town Yeah I`m the ugliest man in town [You know a guy as ugly as you man could use a manager. You know what I mean? Just sign this small piece of paper here man. You can give me a couple of bucks a week, a couple of free meals man. I`ll take you all over the world. We`ll go to Japan baby, they`ll love you over there baby. They`ll make another monster movie with you hahahaha] (c) Unknown
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