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Greetingsthis is the secretary of war at the state department of the united stateswe have a problem. the companies want something done about this sluggish world economic situationprofits h Een running a little thin lately and we need to stimulate some growthnow we know theres an alarmingly high number of young people roaming around in your country with nothing to do but stir up Ble for the police and damage private property. it doesnt look like theyll ever get a jobits about time we did something constructive with these peopleweve got thousands of em here too. re crawling all over The companies think its time we all sit down, have a serious get-togetherand start another warthe president? he loves the idea! all those missiles streaming overhead to and fronapalmpeo Unning down the road, skin on firethe soviets seem up for itthe kremlins been itching for the real thing for years. hell, afghanistans no funso whadya say? we dont even have to win thi . we just want to cut down on some of this excess population Now look. just start up a draft; draft as many of those people as you can. well call up every last youngster we can get our hands on, hand em some speed, give em an hour or two to learn how t An automatic rifle and send em on their waylibya? el salvador? how bout northern ireland? or a "moderately repressive regime" in south america? well just cook up a good soviet t Story in the middle eastwe need that oilwe had libya all ready to go and colonel khadafys hit squad didnt even show up. I tell yathat man is unreliable. the kremlin had their fingers on Button just like we did for that one Now just think for a minutewe can make this war so bigso bigthe more people we kill in this war, the more the economy will prosperwe can get rid of practically everybody on your dole que We plan this right. take every loafer on welfare right off our computer rollsnow dont worry about demonstrationsjust pump up your drug supply. so many people have hooked themselves on hero D amphetamines since we took over, its just like vietnam. we had everybody so busy with lsd they never got too strong. kept the war functioning just fine Its easy. weve got our college kids so interested in beer they dont even care if we start manufacturing germ bombs again. put a nuclear stockpile in their back yard, they wouldnt even know w T looked likeso how bout it? lookwar is money. the arms manufacturers tell me unless we get our bomb factories up to full production the whole economy is going to collapsethe soviets are E same boat. we all agree the time has come for the big one, so whadya say? !? thats excellent. we knew youd agreethe companies will be very pleased.
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