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"Today boys and girls we have a special speaker in the house tonight
And he`s gonna teach you about life and death" I was born a God damn failure Dropped outta school at mitalia Found me a nickel and lost a dime My whole life story came true in a rhyme I don`t know what the fuck was on my mind I tried suicide 4 or 5 times Tryed to take a whiff into wrist but it didn`t work And it seems I`m the only one that`s gettin` hurt Now I gotta bullet and a chain, and I`m fulla sweat I decide to play a game of Russian Roulette Click, click, click I guess I loose I didn`t win So I decide to do it again and again Now it`s gettin` borin` `cause I keep on loosin` I guess I`m kinda cruisin` for a bruisin` Then I take a knife and put a 6 in my head 3 times then I say I wish I was dead Blood drippin` off my forehead And then I`m lyin` in my deathbed, but I`m not dead I gotta headache so I`m gettin` somethin` for it see I take some Tylenols, about 23 So what you wanna follow me I got 13 ways to commit suicide Who would like to hang from a tree? "I would I would," then listen close to me You get some sturdy rope and put it `round your neck Tie a real good knot, or the shit won`t work It`s best to put it in a noose Just incase you have second thoughts you can`t get loose Now we`re at number 6 This a real goody no special effects or countertricks Tie a big rock to your foot no mistakes Then jump your ass in a deep lake Get yourself some gas, then drink that shit Then drink some more, then you smoke the cigarette Or better yet, get real drunk and take a real long drive On the freeway down the wrong side Brother you`re bound to make a hit It`s like lettin` a pitbull suck a dick So if you wanna follow me I got 13 ways to commit suicide Now we`re on number 11 Did you know suicidalists didn`t go to heaven? `No where they go man?" take another guess Matter fact take another suicidal test This is what you do man Go jump your monkey ass off a real tall building And then you live through that one You get reincarnated mean you get to come back son But I seriously doubt that `Cause you been tryin` to kill yourself you don`t give a shit about that All you wanna do is die Maybe motherfuckers kill themselves but don`t know why But I know why I`m teachin` you this "Why?" Should you have to kill yourself, you don`t miss To prevent a miss, you put a gun in your mouth And blow your fuckin` brains out Fuck your mommy, fuck your daddy, nobody cares Look how they treated you over the years What you oughta do is kill them then you A suicidalist dream come true So if you wanna follow me I got 13 ways to commit suicide
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