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A musical in three acts by XTC
Cast of characters GRAHAM, a teenager MOTHER, a busy housewife FATHER, a conservative husband POLICEMAN, a young constable SCENE: A kitchen in suburbia, one bright Saturday morning ACT ONE Narrator: The insect-headed worker-wife will hang her waspies on the line. Her husband burns his paper, sucks his pipe while studying their cushion-floor, his viscous poly-paste breath comes out. Their wall-paper world is shattered by his shout. A boy in blue is busy banging out a headache on the kitchen door. All the while Graham slept on, dreaming of a world where he could do just what he wanted to. Mother and Father (in unison): No thugs in our house, are there dear? We made that clear, we made little Graham promise us he`d be a good boy. No thugs in our house, are there dear? We made that clear, we made little Graham promise us he`d be a good boy. ACT TWO Narrator: The young policeman who just can`t grow a moustache will open up his book, and spoil their breakfast with reports of Asians who have been so badly kicked. Policeman: Is this your son`s wallet I`ve got here? He must have dropped it after too much beer! Mother: Oh, officer, we can`t believe our little angel is the one you`ve picked. Narrator: And all the while Graham slept on, dreaming of a world where he could do just what he wanted to. Mother and Father (in unison): No thugs in our house, are there dear? We made that clear, we made little Graham promise us he`d be a good boy. No thugs in our house, are there dear? We made that clear, we made little Graham promise us he`d be a good boy. Narrator: They never read those pamphlets in his bottom drawer. Policeman: They never read that tattoo on his arm. Narrator: They thought that was just a boys club badge he wore. Policeman: They never thought he`d do folks any harm. ACT THREE Narrator: The insect-headed worker-wife will hang her waspies on the line. She`s singing something stale and simple now this business has fizzled out. Her little tune is such a happy song. Her son is innocent, he can`t do wrong, `cos Dad`s a judge and knows exactly what the job of judging`s all about. And all the while Graham slept on, dreaming of a world where he could do just what he wanted to. Mother and Father (in unison): No thugs in our house, are there dear? We made that clear, we made little Graham promise us he`d be a good boy. No thugs in our house, are there dear? We made that clear, we made little Graham promise us he`d be a good boy. Mother: No thugs in our house! Father: No thugs in our house! Complete cast (in unison): No thugs in our house, dear! Set Design by Andy Partridge with co-ordination by Ken Ansell. Stage and Scenery by Art Dragon.
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