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"Let`s meet contestant number one He`s a skitsofrantic, serial killer clown Who says, "woman love his sexy smile" Let`s find out if his charm will work on Sharon Sharon, what`s your question?" "Contestant number one, I believe first impressions last forever So let`s say you were to come over to my parent`s house And have dinner with me and my family Tell me what you would do to make That first impression really stick" [Violent J] Let`s see, uh, well, I`d have to think about it I might show up in a tux, HA!, but I doubt it I`d probably just show up naked like I always do And lick your momma in the eye and tell her, "FUCK YOU!!!" Hurry up bitch, I`m hungry, I smell spaghetti I`d pinch her loopy ass and tell her, "Get the food ready!" Your dad will probably start tripping and get me pissed I`d have to walk up and bust him in his fucking lips! It`s dinner time, we hearing grace from your mother I pull a forty out and pour some for your little brother I`m steady staring at your sister, I`ll tell you this You know for only 13, she got some big tits After that, your dad will try to jump again And only this time, I`d put the forty to his chin After you mom does the dishes and the silverware I`d dry-fuck her till I nut in my underwear "Now, let`s me contestant number two He`s a psychopathic, deranged, crackhead freak Who works for the Dark Carnival He says women call him stretch nuts Sharon, let`s hear your question" "I like a man who`s not afraid to show his true emotions A man who expresses himself in his own special way Number two, if you fell in love with me Exactly how would you let me know?" [Shaggy 2 Dope] First thing, I could never love you You sound like a richie-bitch, yo, FUCK YOU!!! But if I did, I`d probably show you that I care By taking all these other motherfuckers outta here I`d go through your phone book and whack em all And find contestant number one and break his fucking jaw (what?!) Anyone who looked at you, would have to pay I`d be blowing fucking nuggets off all day I`d grab your titties and stretch em down past your waist Let em go, and watch em both spring up in your face I`d sing love songs to you, the best I can Get you naked, and hit it like a CAVEMAN!!! When we go to the beach and walk through the sand I throw a little in your face and say, I`m just playin As you spit it all out, I`d rub your back And grab your underwear and wedge it up your ass crack!! "Well it sounds like contestant number two Is just over-flowing with sensativity, Sharon It`s a touch choice so far Sharon, let`s have your last question and See which one is going to win the rights to your neden" "Okay, if we were at a dance club, and you both noticed me at the same time. Tell me, how would you each get my attention, and what would your pick up line be? Well, whoever`s the smoothest wins!" [Violent J] Okay, first I`d slide up to the bar And tell you that I can`t believe how fucking fat you are I`d tell that I like the way you make your titties shake And if you lost a little weight, you`d look like Rickie Lake! [Shaggy 2 Dope] Fuck that, you`d be jocking me quick I`d order you a drink and stir it with my dick And then to get your attention in the crowded place I`d simply walk up and stick my nuts in your face [Violent J] Yeah, freak with your nuts, yo, that`ll get her Tell her that`s she fat, yeah, that`ll work even better Look, fuck you, I got a strong rap Shit, you don`t want contestant number two He`s mad-whack [Violent J] I walk into a bar and there he was Standing up on a bucket, eww, trying to fuck it It was a big fucking smelly, ass farm llama Damn dawg! how you gonna diss your momma?!
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