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Gods own drunk By: lord buckley 1974 "well, like I explained to yall before I aint no drinkin man. I tried it once, and it got me highly irregular and I swore Id never do it again. but I promised my brother-in-law that id P and watch his still while he went into town to vote. It was up there on the mountain where the map said it would be. friends let me tell you one thing though, it wadnt no ordinary still. it stood up that mountainside like... like a huge golden op R Gods yellar moon was a shinin on the cool clear evenin, gods little lanterns just a twinklin on and off in the heavens and, like I explained to you once before, I aint no drinkin man, b Emptation got the best of me, and I took a slash... (wshew!... woah...) that yellar whiskey runnin down my throat like honeydew vine water, and I took another slash. took another and another an Ther. fore you knew it Id downed one whole jug o that shit and commenced to get hot flashes. Goosepimples was runnin up and down my body and a feelin came over me like, somethin Id never experienced before, its like, like I was in love, ("why dont we have a little love mike [utley]") In love for the first time, with anything that moved... animate, in-animate it didnt matter. its like theres a great neon sign flashin on and off in my brain sayin, "jimmy buffett there Reat day a comin..." cause I was drunk. Now I wadnt, uh, knee-crawlin, slip-slidin, reggy-youngin, commode-huggin drunk, I was gods own drunk, and a fearless man; and thats when I first saw the bear. He was a kodiak lookin fella bout 19 feet tall he rambled up over the hill spectin me to do one of two things: flip or fly, I didnt do either one. it hung him up. he starts sniffin round Dy tryin to smell fear, but he aint gonna smell no fear, cause Im gods own drunk and a fearless man. it hung him up. he looked me right in my eyes and my eyes was a lot redder than his was. Ung him up. So I approached him and I said, "mr. bear, I love every hair on your 27 acre body. I know you got a lotta friends over there on the other side of the hill. theres ole rear bear, tall bear Ddy bear, kelly jair, relly bear, smelly the bear, smokey the bear, pokey the bear; I want you to go back over there tonight and tell em Im feelin right. you tell em I love each and every on em like a brother and a sister; but if they give me any trouble tonight, Im gonna run every goddamned one of em off the hill." He took two steps backwards and didnt know what to think. neither did i, but, being charitable and cautious, well hell, I approached him again. I said, "mr. bear, you know in the eyes of t Rd, were both beasts when it comes right down to it. so I want you to be my buddy, buddy bear." so I took ole buddy bear by his island sized paw and I led him over to the still. now he Sniffin around that thing cause hes smellin somethin good. I gave him one of them jugs of honeydew vine water, he downed it upright, (looked like one of them damn bears in the circus sippin Parilly in the moonlight.) I gave him another and another and another fore I knew it, hed downed eight of em and commenced to do the "bear dance." two sniffs, a snort, a fly, a turn A grunt; and it was so simple like the jitterbug it plumb evaded me. And we worked ourselves into a tumultuous uproar and is awful tired, went over to the hillside, and I laid down, went to sleep, slept for four hours, and dreamt me some tremulous dreams and whe Oke up, oh, there was gods yellar moon a shinin on the clear cool evenin. and gods little lanterns just a twinklin on and off in the heavens, and my buddy the bear was a missin... yeah, Want to know somethin else friends and neighbors, so was that still. -- spoken: "thats a take. wait, could uh.....you missed it? "
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