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By: steve goodman 1975 Uh this hotel rooms gotta lotta stuff Laundry bag and a shoe shine cloth Thirty two hangers and a touch tone phone Well a light that comes on when I aint home I aint home I aint home You better leave a message cause I aint home They got an air conditioner for when Im hot A radiator for when Im not Two big chairs sittin side by side With a holy Bible and the tv guide Tv guide The tv guide Great God almighty Its the tv guide I gotta second story view from curb to curb I gotta sign that reads "do not disturb" A monogrammed towel and a bucket of ice A chest of drawers and a mirror that lies Mirror that lies A mirror that lies That couldnt be me In the gorilla disguise They got a room service menu for food and drink A porcelain throne and an aluminum sink Two big pillows to rest my head A magic fingers and a king-size bed Put in a quarter Turn out the light Magic fingers makes ya feel alright Uh feel alright Feel alright Magic fingers makes you feel alright Uh this ol hotels all right with me They pay the postage if you lose the key This hotel rooms gotta lot of stuff But I do believe Ive had enough Called my baby said dont you pout Im packin my bags and Im checkin out Just as soon as you hang up the telephone Stick a candle in the window Im comin home Comin home Uh comin home Stick a candle in the window Im comin home Whoa comin home Comin home Stick a candle in the window Im comin home -- spoken: "thank you boys"
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