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Dear abby, dear abby ... My feet are too long My hairs falling out and my rights are all wrong My friends they all tell me that Ive no friends at all Wont you write me a letter, wont you give me a call Signed bewildered Bewildered, bewildered... Chorus: You have no complaint You are what your are and you aint what you aint So listen up buster, and listen up good Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood Dear abby, dear abby... My fountain pen leaks My wife hollers at me and my kids are all freaks Every side I get up on is the wrong side of bed If it werent so expensive Id wish I were dead Signed unhappy Unhappy, unhappy... Repeat chorus Dear abby, dear abby... You wont believe this But my stomach makes noises whenever I kiss My girlfriend tells me its all in my head But my stomach tells me to write you instead Signed noise-maker Noise-maker, noise-maker Repeat chorus Dear abby, dear abby... Well I never thought That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught We were sitting in the back seat just shooting the breeze With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees Signed just married Just married, just married... Repeat chorus
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