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With half an eye on history And half an ounce of hope Sold his soul in the vestry Money for old rope Been this way a million times But now his time is nigh He steps into the spotlight He wants to say hi Hello, were so glad you came Youve never seen me before Hes so ambitious, hes so game But yesterday he was dressed the same Then he was so much easier to ignore Here comes the groom But the worlds not an inn and there isnt any room for you But here he comes He married into money Just to kiss and tell He ripped the contract open Hes out of his shell He looks into a mirror Practising his poise But it reflects so badly The groom just gets annoyed He gasps, he forgets his lines Hes never done that before The scientists say hes doing fine This fumbling frantic frankenstein Soon hes gonna do the dinosaur Here comes the groom His fingers are on the cliff edge His head is going under Is that applause? No thats just thunder.... Why do you keep saying I do? What does the bride mean to you? Play me some puccini Make it heavy on the strings Walk me to the altar The choir cant even sing Right side for the photographs Left side for the kids God made me do it So thats what I did He coughs, loosens his bow-tie Youve never seen him before He kisses the bride, oh you know why Loves one more thing you can buy He was unfaithful before he went outdoors (and now hes in the graveyard) Here comes the groom.....
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