Indoor fireworks amuse your kitchen staff Dusting plastic garlic plants They snigger in the draught When you ride throw the parlour Wearing nothing but your armour - Playing Indoor Games.
One string puppet shows amuse Your sycophantic friends Who cheer your rancid recipes In fear they might offend, Whilst you loaf on your sofa Sporting falsies and a toga - Playing Indoor Games, Indoor Games.
Your mean teetotum spins arouse your seventh wife Who pats her sixty little skins And reinsures your life, Whilst you sulk in your sauna `Cos you lost your jig-saw corner - Playing Indoor Games, Indoor Games.
Each afternoon you train baboons to sing Or swim in purple perspex water wings. Come Saturday jump chopper, chelsea brigade. High bender-trender it`s all Indoor Games.
No ball bagatelle incites Your children to corspire. They slide across your frying pan And fertilise your fire; Still you and Jones go madder Broken bones - broken ladder - Hey Ho ...
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