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They say to have her hair done, Liz flies all the way to France And Jackie`s seen in a Discoteque doin` a brand new dance And the White House social season should be glitterin` in gay But here in Topeka the rain is a fallin` The faucet is a drippin` and the kids are a ballin` One of `em a toddlin` and one is a crawlin` And one`s on the way I`m glad Raquel Welch just signed a million dollar pact And Debbie`s out in Vegas workin` up a brand new act While the t.v.`s showin` newly weds, a real fun game to play But here in Topeka, the screen door`s a bangin` The coffee`s boilin` over and the wash needs a hangin` One wants a cookie and one wants a changin` And one`s on the way Now what was I doin`? Jimmy get away from there Darn, there goes the phone Hello honey, what`s that you say? You`re bringin` a few old army buddies home? You`re callin` from a bar? Get away from there! No, not you honey I was talkin` to the baby Wait a minute, honey, the door bell Honey, could you stop at the market and...hello?, hello? Well, I`ll be... The girls in New York City, they all march for women`s lib And better homes and garden shows, the modern way to live And the pill may change the world tomorrow, but meanwhile, today Here in Topeka, the flies are a buzzin` The dog is a barkin` and the floor needs a scrubbin` One needs a spankin` and one needs a huggin` Lord, one`s on the way Oh gee, I hope it ain`t twins, again!
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