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Drumgoole, my dear, I must admit Your lifes been one long pile of shit I must be nuts, at least a bit To want to be involved in it But given the alternative Who knows how wed be forced to live? When worlds collide, when worlds collide? With you, drumgoole, at my side And at my side! And at my side! With worlds colliding in on us Drumgoole must be trigamous Pray, say we shall be man and bride And man and bride and man and bride! When worlds collide, the chivalrous Drumgoole performs the frivolous And dares to make it man and bride And man and bride and man and bride! That ones mine, hes my concubine Hell get more out of me Than what you peons call "love" Hands off him, that ones mine! Your favors do not satisfy Ive witnesses wholl testify And though drumgoole is thin of thigh Shes worth a try, shes worth a try Though nature was not generous Her breasts are not as pendulous Yet still they would be man and bride And man and bride and man and bride! Now according to the law this week Still evolving even as we speak Any woman may, at her discretion Have her pick of losers Since the breed has dropped so in quality We abolish, hereby, monagomy If you dont quite fancy this selection Weve got lots more losers Ive seen all that I need to see Ive fallen for their flattery And so we shall be man and bride And man and bride and man and bride! When worlds collide, the rest of us Wont be here with the best of us For these, they shall be man and bride And man and bride and man and bride! Correct me, honey I smell no money And when the chips are down Youll be back around this finger here I never said that I was in love with you I never said that I was not, my dear Why must this girl have everything? How quickly he forgets the sting For though she feigns to please him She is talentless except to tease him Dont think we havent noticed Well have a shower And Ill allow her She seems amused with you Its so hard to keep her entertained Well all go "nudies" And you can bring your friends Just keep the one whos nuts for tits restrained! My long term memory Is not what it should be Some tiny spark of love Helps me find the proper words to say Your smell of money You filthy, lying bitch Is just about to make me puke! Go away Please go away! Its time to make us man and bride And man and bride and man and bride! Weve simplified, no muss, no fuss And vows are now superfluous I just declare you man and bride And man and bride and man and bride! Wait a minute! wait a minute! Georgianna, get over here with that law book Listen up everybody Ive the law book right in front of me Article sixteen dash thirty-three "when consenting adults shack together Theyre connected legally" Though he wants to eat and have his cake Theres a pact with me he cannot break So the rest of you go rot forever This one will stay here with me When worlds collide, the devious The cunning, and the mischevious Our not-yet-happy-home divide When worlds collide, when worlds collide When worlds collide, this friend of us Is forced to be a succubus Cruel fate is not upon our side When worlds collide, when worlds collide Connie! connie! This urgent telegram is just in from parliament Well dont just stand there, lets gloat over it Aw oh, I dont think youre going to like this "must clear the old regime away The residue must be destroyed As of 9:00 oclock today Contracts with men are null and void" What! Youre free, my boy, Im proud to say And so without further delay I now declare you man and bride And man and bride and man and bride! When worlds collide, the least of us May get to share the feast with us For now we four are man and bride til worlds collide, til worlds collide Were men and bride!
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