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by Townes Van Zandt
Well, I ain`t very big for twentyone and it seems I never could have any good clean fun cause every time I`d go outside some great big bully`d come along he`d hit me in the face and he`d knock to the ground and he`d start kickin` me all around and that ain`t exactly fair, friends, that`s wrong. So I got me a paper the other night and I crawled up on the sofa and I turned on the light and flipped through the pages till I found the classified ads. Said, "take karate from Lee Hung Chow; man, make your first appointment now this course is guaranteed to make you bad." Well, the next day I drove to the address by japanese design I was really impressed it looked like a regular house of the rising sun. I walked inside, I was all alone I had a nervous feeling down in my bones I was kind of sorry I`d ever even come. Then a giant jap came through the door he must have been about seven foot four and he looked like he`s prone to easy aggrevation. He said, "Lee Hung Chow, Ah kee dung" that`s japanese for fee fie foo fum I tried to explain my entire situation. He said, "Number one course, yankee, self defence, twohundred dollars and twentyfive cents"; I said "What`s the twentyfive cents for?" and he said, "Repairs." I said, "Repairs to what?", and he said "To you" and I thought to myself "Man, that won`t do" felt about a half inch tall under that ol` slender stare Ah, you think he was yellow... I said, "I believe I better go check another place" he said, "Ha so, Yankee don`t like my race" I said, "Now, there`s a mistake, man, and that`s true; I`ve been for you you japanese all along you japanese just can`t do no wrong and I thought you got mighty dirty deal in World War II." Well, he grabbed me by the hand and gave a heave I figured there`s a pretty good time to leave before he had a chance to do me any definite harm. But my plan worked out in the end, you see, now no bully is gonna pick on me who`s gonna hit a fellow with just one arm?
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