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(Heaton/Rotheray) This is my life and this is how it reads For every chapter, a thousand memories A murder, a mystery where everybody bleeds A fantasy, a thriller with romance and disease Diary entry 9th of May `62 We`ve had some ugly babies but none were quite like you Diary entry `62 end of May It looks as if the nose and chin are definitely here to stay They`re here to stay, they`re here to stay If my lips start smiling and my knees start a-knocking I`m a failure You are, you are And if I seem half-hearted, it`s because I`m broken hearted And I`m a failure You are, you are, you are (I am) You are, you are, you are (I am) This is my life and this is how it reads A documentary that nobody believes Albert Steptoe in `Gone with the Breeze` Mother played by Peter Beardsley, father by John Cleese Diary entry `68 end of the year A cardboard Apollo 6 has given the all clear 11th December `68 Captain`s log Proposed trip to Mars is cancelled due to fog It`s due to fog, it`s due to fog If my lips start smiling and my knees start a-knocking I`m a failure You are, you are And if I seem half-hearted, it`s because I`m broken hearted And I`m a failure You are, you are, you are (I am) You are, you are, you are (I am) This is the play, it was I who wrote the script Terry meets June in `Tales from the Crypt` It was going to be a film but the camera person slipped They later found him scolding a banana Diary entry 10th of April `89 The world is going mad but me I`m doing fine I`m doing fine Back to bed, back to reality Just fine.
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