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Start off in the womb, yeah, where it`s nice and warm Things are lookin` good, then it`s time to be born Doctor pulls you out and slaps you on the butt And before you know it your umbilical cord is cut Drag you from your mama, wheel you down the hall Room full of babies, who just lie there and bawl Lyin` in a diaper, feelin` like a fool Things`ll get much worse when it`s time to go to school You`re crammed into a classroom with 30 other kids Good you get nothing - bad you get hit Nobody likes you and the classroom is cold Stuck with a textbook that`s 35 years old Bullies beat you up, teacher puts you down Sittin` in the corner don`t dare make a sound If you learn one thing, better learn to curse `Cuz from now on, life gets even worse Now that you are 30, better get a job You will buy a house, you will buy a Saab Get up in the morning, you will feel like dyin` As the years go rollin` by, you will lose your mind You were once a young man, now you`re turnin` grey Listening to people talkin` `bout the Judgment Day Now you`ve retired, goodbye to the job And you`ve lost your teeth, goodbye corn-on-the-cob Look back on your life and all the things you did Standin` in the yard, yellin` at the kids Now you`re kickin` back, you don`t have a care Time to see the world from your Craft-matic chair You`ll move to Arizona where all the old folks go You will vote Republican, you`ll see UFO`s Then one day you die, find yourself in Hell With the lake-o`-fire and that awful brimstone smell You were really good, but you weren`t good enough Living ain`t so easy, dying`s really tough Now look around, see how it`s gonna be Yes, my friend, you`re screwed for all eternity
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