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(Jule Styne/Bob Merrill) Hey, can we have your autograph? My autograph? I`m nobody But wait a minute I`ve got 36 expressions Sweet as pie to tough as leather And that`s six expressions more Than all the Barrymores put together Only six? Instead of kicking me I don`t think they give me a lift I think it`s a plot `Cause they`re scared that I got Such a gift, I`m miffed `Cause I`m the greatest star I am by far, but nobody knows it Wait, they`re gonna hear a voice A silver flute They`ll cheer each toot When I expose it Can`t you see the look at me That I`m a natural Camille? As Camille I just feel I have so much to offer I know I`ll be divine because I`m a natural cougher Some ain`t got it, not a lump She a great big clump of talent Laugh, they`ll bend in half Did I tell the story about the traveling salesman? A thousand laughs Stick around for `em folks A thousand faces, I reiterate When you`re gifted Then you`re gifted These are facts, I have no axe to grind Hey, what are they blind In all of the world so far I`m the greatest star Who is the pip with pizazz? Who is all ginger and jazz? Who is as glamorous as? Who`s an American beauty rose With that American beauty nose And ten American beauty toes Eyes on the target and wham One shot, one gun shot and bam Hey, world, here I am! I`m the greatest star I am by far But nobody knows it That`s why I was born I`ll blow my horn `Till somebody hears it I`ll light up like a light Right up like a light I`ll flicker and flare up All the world`s gonna stare up Looking down You`ll never see me Try the sky `Cause that`ll be me I can make `em cry I can make `em sigh Someday they`ll clamor For my dram-er Have you guessed yet Who`s the best yet If you ain`t I`ll tell you one more time You bet yer last dime In all the world so far She`s the greatest, greatest Funny, life is far from sunny When the laugh is over And the jokes on you Well, a girl`s gotta have a sense of humor That`s one things you really needs for sure When you`re a funny girl The fellow said "A funny girl" Funny, how it ain`t so funny girl They`re the luckiest people in the world With one person, one very special person A feeling deep in your soul says You were half, now you`re whole No more hunger and thirst But first be a person who needs people People who need people Are the luckiest people in the world
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