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I spend my days watching TV with a beer (Oooh-aah, you`re fat) It seems to cause my ample belly to appear (Oooh-ahh, you`re fat) Then one day my woman went and left me (Did not want to sleep with a whale) She said she found someone more manly (A body that could not fail) So I went and I looked into the mirror (You looked like a big tub of goo) And I dreamed of being big and strong (Dreaming was the best you could do) I thought to myself, what would I ask for? (If someone gave you a wish) I think I`d like to look like my idol (That great big manly dish) I want to look like Arnold Schwartzenegger I don`t want to big fat and weak (Oh no, oh no) I want to look like Arnold Schwartzenegger I want a manly physique I put down the Cheetos and went and went on a crash diet (Carrots were all you ate) Then I found my skin was turning orange (You`re just a big mistake) Then I overdosed on diet pills (Too bad you did not die) Still I want to look like my hero (That great big beefy guy) I want to look like Arnold Schwartzeneggar I don`t want to big fat and weak (Oh no, oh no) I want to look like Arnold Schwartzeneggar I want a manly physique So I got a weight set and some steroids (To make you big and strong) And I worked out really really hard (But it did not last for long) I put out my back and the steroids made me sterile (Not like it mattered anyway) And as for looking like my idol (He has one thing to say) I don`t want to look like Arnold Schwartzeneggar I don`t mind being fat and weak (Oh no, oh no) I don`t want to look like Arnold Schwartzeneggar It`s easier being fat and lazy (You`ll never look like Arnold Schwartzeneggar You`ll always be fat and weak oh yes, oh yes You`ll never look like Arnold Schwartzeneggar You are fat and ugly.)
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