Uncle Vernon Uncle Vernon Independent as a Hog on ice He`s a big shot down there At the slaughterhouse He plays accordion For Mr. Weiss Uncle Bittmore and Uncle William Made a Million during World War II But they`re tightwads And they`re Cheap skates
And they`ll never give a dime to you Auntie Mame Has gone Insane She lives in The doorway of an old hotel And the Radio`s playing opera and All she ever says Is go to Hell. Uncle Violet Flew as pilot He said there Ain`t no pretty Girls in France Now he runs a Tiny little Bookie joint they say He never Keeps it in his pants Uncle Bill Will never leave a will And the tumour is as Big as an egg He has a mistress She`s a Puerto Rican And I heard she has A wooden leg. Uncle Phil Can`t live without his pills He has emphysema and He`s almost blind And we must find out Where the money is Get it now Before he loses his mind
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