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Well he came home from the war with a party in his head and modified Brougham DeVille and a pair of legs that opened up like butterfly wings and a mad dog that wouldn`t sit still he went and took up with a Salvation Army Band girl who played dirty water on a swordfishtrombone he went to sleep at the bottom of Tenkiller lake and he said "gee, but it`s great to be home." Well he came home from the war with a party in his head and an idea for a fireworks display and he knew that he`d be ready with a stainless steel machete and a half a pint of Ballentine`s each day and he holed up in room above a hardware store cryin` nothing there but Hollywood tears and he put a spell on some poor little Crutchfield girl and stayed like that for 27 years Well he packed up all his expectations he lit out for California with a flyswatter banjo on his knee with a lucky tiger in his angel hair and benzedrine for getting there they found him in a eucalyptus tree lieutenant got him a canary bird and shaked her head with every word and Chesterfielded moonbeams in a song and he got 20 years for lovin` her from some Oklahoma governor said everything this Doughboy does is wrong Now some say he`s doing the obituary mambo and some say he`s hanging on the wall perhaps this yarn`s the only thing that holds this man together some say he was never here at all Some say they saw him down in Birmingham, sleeping in a boxcar going by and if you think that you can tell a bigger tale I swear to God you`d have to tell a lie...
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