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I want a new duck. One that won`t try to bite. One that won`t chew a hole in my socks. One that won`t quack all night. I want a new duck. One with big webbed feet. One that knows how to wash my car, And keep his room real neat. One that won`t raid the ice box. One that`ll stay in shape. One that`s never gonna try To migrate or escape, Or I`ll tie him up with duck tape. I want a new duck. A mallard, I think. One that won`t make a mess of my house, Or build a nest in the bathroom sink. I want a new duck. One that won`t steal my beer. One that won`t stick his bill in my mail. One that knows "The duck stops here." One that won`t drive me crazy Waddling all around. One who`ll teach me how to swim, And help me not to drown. And show me how to get down. "How to get down", baby. Get it? (quack, quack, quack, quack, quack) I want a new duck. Not a swan or a goose. Just a drake I can dress real cute. Think I`m gonna name him Bruce. I want a new duck. Not a quail or an owl. One that won`t molt too much. One that won`t smell too foul. One that won`t beg for breadcrumbs, Hangin` around all day. He`d better mind his manners. Better do just what I say, Or he`s gonna be duck pate`. Duck pate`, yeah yeah.
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