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The morn` that I was born my old man beat up the doctor
He clocked the doctor cause the doctor said I looked like Chewbacca The doctor said sir you`re misled sir which infers you mistook me I did not mean your lovely wife was shackin` up with a wookie What I mean is Wolverine is less hairy than your son He`s looks like Chewie Baba Booey Baba Booey and a Hong Kong Phooey all in one To put it mild your new-born child`s completely nutty fu-fu lookin` I`d shove him back into the oven until he is done cookin` But why`s everybody always pickin` on me? Cause my fifteen-year-old cousin has less acne But why`s everybody always pickin` on me? Ain`t brushed them teeth since 1983 But why`s everybody always pickin` on me? Cause you`ve got the grooming habits of a chimpanzee But why`s everybody always pickin` on me? Cause you`re white but got a nose like Bill Cosby Why`s everybody always pickin` on me? Always pickin` and rippin` apart poor ol` Jimmy Pop Ali I got a schnoz like the `Cos` but there`s a lot more wrong with you So back me up Bill yea and you`re ugly too So what if I brush my teeth with a piece of cheddar cheese Or wear a fish net shirt by Chams with my Sergio Valenti jeans And my mirror never lies but it always verifiesI got more cheese and pepperoni than a homemade pizza pie You compare me to a Monchichi but I don`t understand Why I`m scorned like I`m deformed like the Elephant Man And yea I took my mom to the prom but hey she asked me first But at least this time I didn`t find my date in the back of a hearse About as popular with the girls as Englebert Humperdinck And that might be `cause everybody calls me Shrinky Dink I know I`m known as Polaroid I`m not a total retard It`s cause I`m done in sixty seconds and you`ll still want it enlarged But why`s everybody always pickin` on me? Cause ya wore velour flares until the late Eighties But why`s everybody always pickin` on me? Cause you run like a girl and sit down to pee But why`s everybody always pickin` on me? Cause your only school chum was the lunch lady But why`s everybody always pickin` on me? You took your mom to the prom but still got lucky Like that episode where Gilligan gets sick of being teased And he breaks into the Professor`s lab and makes some LSD Peaks freaks and eats the Skipper`s brains then beats Ginger with coconuts As Mr. Howell and Lovey burn alive inside of their grass hut Oh he`ll kill again that Gilligan they should have let him be And like a postal clerk I`ll go berserk if you don`t stop teasing me See the trick is only pick on those that can`t do you no harm Like the drummer from Def Leppard`s only got one arm The drummer from Def Leppard`s only got one arm The drummer from Def Leppard`s only got one arm The drummer from Def Leppard`s only got one arm The drummer from Def Leppard`s only got one arm The drummer from Def Leppard`s only got one arm The drummer from Def Leppard`s only got one arm The drummer from Def Leppard`s only got one arm The drummer from Def Leppard`s only got one arm But why`s everybody always pickin` on me? Cause my fifteen-year-old cousin has less acne But why`s everybody always pickin` on me? Ain`t brushed them teeth since 1983 But why`s everybody always pickin` on me? Cause you`ve got the grooming habits of a chimpanzee But why`s everybody always pickin` on me? Cause you`re white but got a nose like Bill Cosby But why`s everybody always pickin` on me? Cause ya wore velour flares until the late Eighties But why`s everybody always pickin` on me? Cause you run like a girl and sit down to pee But why`s everybody always pickin` on me? Cause your only school chum was the lunch lady But why`s everybody always pickin` on me? Cause no one likes you monkey boy
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