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May I have your attention please? May I have your attention please? Did you ever read Voltaire`s "Candide"? He says live life at Benny Hill freak out speed Not a quote of what he wrote but a paraphrase Make it up as you go Keyser Soze Highlights yes but don`t underline em Just live for N.O.W. like Gloria Steinem Life is like Marion Barry It`s not all that it`s cracked up to be Like Fred Sanford when the big one comes Find the meaning of life is there is none It`s twenty-four hours when you call it a day Be Frank and say "I Did It My Way" Don`t give a flying nun no don`t give a Gidget Just have more fun than a well-oiled midget If life were picture perfect you could frame it But the world is a diaper so let someone else change it Life is an aimless drive that ya take alone Might as well enjoy the ride, take the long way home May I have your attention please? May I have your attention please? All born equal unless you`re Canadian Then halfway through decay like Uranium You define what`s death-defying Get the most out of life or at the least die trying Are you Evil Knievel jumping a train? Or running with scissors like Frasier Crane? Have really good times doing really bad things Cause the show ain`t over til the fat lady sings Like Elton John with his candle in the wind It`s hard to blow out a flame as big as him But we`ve all got to Wang Chung with the Grim Reaper Whether you`re Einstein whether you`re Beaker Death is certain so it`s definitely worth flirtin` Don`t expect a bright light no just curtains Life is like a penis most people don`t know it But most people suck so they usually blow it Life is an aimless drive that ya take alone Might as well enjoy the ride take the long way home Life is an aimless drive that ya take alone Might as well enjoy the ride take the long way home That`s enough! I said that`s enough!
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