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I come down the steps I slip on the ice Santa Claus been lookin` Who`s been naughty, who`s been nice I`m lookin` for one thing real tonight Jesus, he comes up to me, Jesus, he sits down Says take this fuckin` cross off my back, I`m goin` downtown I say aw, but ain`t that your uniform He offers me a toke Says 2000 years is long enough for this particular joke He says I`m lookin` for one thing real tonight I`m up here singin` these songs every night Sometimes I wanna just make `em all up on the spot Maybe they wouldn`t rhyme too good, they might not make sense But then at least I wouldn`t be repeating myself I`m lookin` for one thing real tonight And you`re the one I`ve chosen And I guess you`ve chosen me Let`s turn off the commercials Let`s turn off the TV How well can we get to know Each other in an hour We can fight the daylight We have that power I`m lookin` for one thing real tonight Van Gogh sits next to me, with a bucketful of paste He rips off my ear and says glue this to my face I`d like to leave America for someplace where they would Not know a word of English and I might be understood I`m lookin` for one thing real tonight
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