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When I was about fourteen I used to go out with complete dickheads-- blokes that thought they had a right to hit ya. Only I didn`t realize, and one day a bloke called young Collet, punched me And I pulled him down by hair and I punched his fucking head in. A husband came home drunk each night And he thrashed her black and he thrashed her white He thrashed her to within an inch of her life Then he slept like a log, did her husband As he lay and snored in bed A strange idea came into her head She went for the needle and she went for the thread And straight to her sleeping husband She started to stitch with a girlish thrill With a woman`s art and a seamstress` skill She pinned and tucked with an iron will All around her sleeping husband Husband awoke with a pain in his head He found he could not move in bed "Sweet Christ I`ve lost the use of me legs!" Wife just smiled at her husband Three six nine, he drank wine He got hooked by a stitch in time She broke, he got choked and they never went to heaven in a little row boat Clap clap, clap clap Clap clap, clap clap My mother told me, if I was goodie That she would by me a loaded Uzi She thrashed him black, she thrashed him blue With a frying pan and a colander, too With a rolling pin just a stroke or two A battered and bleeding husband Isn`t it true what small can do With a thread and a stitch and a thought or two He`s wiped his slate, his boozing`s through Goodbye to a drunken husband Kick out the jams, motherfucker!
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