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SPOKEN: [C] I was takin` a trip out to L.A. [F] Toolin` along in my Chevrolet [G7] Tokin` on a number and diggin` on the radi-[C] o ... [C] Just as I crossed the Mississippi line [F] I heard that highway start to whine [G7] And I knew that left rear tire was about to [C] go. Well, the spare was flat and I got uptight `Cause there wasn`t a fillin` station in sight So I just limped on down the shoulder on the rim I went as far as I could and when I stopped the car It was right in front of this little bar Kind of redneck lookin` joint, called the Dew Drop Inn. Well, I stuffed my hair up under my hat And told the bartender that I had a flat And would he be kind enough to give me change for a one There was one thing I was sure proud to see There wasn`t a soul in the place, `cept for him and me And he just looked disgusted and pointed toward the telephone. I called up the station down the road a ways And he said he wasn`t very busy today And he could have somebody there in just `bout ten minutes or so He said now you just stay right where you`re at And I didn`t bother tellin` the durn fool I sure as hell didn`t have anyplace else to go. I just ordered up a beer and sat down at the bar When some guy walked in and said; "Who owns this car? With the peace sign, the mag wheels and four on the floor?" Well, he looked at me and I damn near died And I decided that I`d just wait outside So I layed a dollar on the bar and headed for the door. Just when I thought I`d get outta there with my skin These five big dudes come strollin` in With this one old drunk chick and some fella with green teeth And I was almost to the door when the biggest one Said; "You tip your hat to this lady, son." And when I did all that hair fell out from underneath. Now the last thing I wanted was to get into a fight In Jackson, Mississippi on a Saturday night `Specially when there was three of them and only one of me They all started laughin` and I felt kinda sick And I knew I`d better think of somethin` pretty quick So I just reached out and kicked old green-teeth right in the knee. He let out a yell that`d curl your hair But before he could move, I grabbed me a chair And said; "Watch him folks, `cause he`s a thouroughly dangerous man." "Well, you may not know it, but this man`s a spy He`s an undercover agent for the FBI And he`s been sent down here to infiltrate the Ku Klux Klan." He was still bent over, holdin` on to his knee But everyone else was lookin` and listenin` to me And I layed it on thicker and heavier as I went I said; "Would you beleive this man has gone as far As tearin` Wallace stickers off the bumpers of cars And he voted for George McGovern for president." "He`s a friend of them long-haired, hippie type, pinko fags I betcha he`s even got a Commie flag Tacked up on the wall, inside of his garage He`s a snake in the grass, I tell ya guys He may look dumb, but that`s just a disguise He`s a mastermind in the ways of espionage." They all started lookin` real suspicious at him And he jumped up an` said; "Now, just wait a minute, Jim You know he`s lyin` I`ve been livin` here all of my life." "I`m a faithfull follower of Brother John Birch And I belong to the Antioch Baptist Church And I ain`t even got a garage, you can call home and ask my wife." Then he started sayin` somethin` `bout the way I was dressed But I didn`t wait around to hear the rest I was too busy movin` and hopin` I didn`t run outta luck And when I hit the ground, I was makin` tracks And they were just takin` my car down off the jacks So I threw the man a twenty an` jumped in an` fired that mother up. Mario Andretti woulda sure been proud Of the way I was movin` when I passed that crowd Comin` out the door and headin` toward me in a trot And I guess I should-a gone ahead and run But somehow I couldn`t resist the fun Of chasin` them all just once around the parkin` lot. Well, they`re headin` for their car, but I hit the gas And spun around and headed them off at the pass I was slingin` gravel and puttin` a ton of dust in the air Ha Ha, well, I had `em all out there steppin` and fetchin` Like their heads were on fire and their asses was catchin` But I figured I oughta go ahead an split before the cops got there. When I hit the road I was really wheelin` Had gravel flyin` and rubber squeelin` And I didn`t slow down `til I was almost to Arkansas Well, I think I`m gonna re-route my trip I wonder if anybody`d think I`d flipped If I went to L.A. - via Omaha.
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