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* All snippets of Monica`s +responses+ are Lil` Kim record samples
[Chris Rock] Thanks for the interview Monica Now Monica, everyone seems to think they know ALL there is to know about Monica Lewinsky -- but Monica, could you tell us one thing that people would be surprised to know about you? "I used to be scared of the dick; now I throw lips to the shit Handle it, like a real bitch.." [Chris Rock] Very interesting! Now Monica, there seems to be a lot of demands on your time. Could you tell us what a quiet evening with Monica Lewinsky would be like? "Got buffoons eatin my pussy while I watch cartoons.." [Chris Rock] Hmm, sounds like fun! Now Monica, who were your role models? "Zsa Zsa Gabor, Demi Moore, Prince Diane and all them rich bitches.." [Chris Rock] Now in the transcript, you refer to the President as Butthead Did the President have any nicknames for you? "Poon-poon nanny-nanny, punanni danni.." [Chris Rock] Ahh, cute! Now Monica, you and the President had a lot of phone sex. What was the one thing that you would say to the President that would make him acheive orgasm? "Before you nut, I`ma dribble down your buttcheek Make you wiggle, then giggle just a little.." [Chris Rock] Now Vernon Jordan helped you get a job What`s the first thing you said when you met Vernon Jordan? "It`s on nigga what? Pussy greased up Stack the G`s up, keeps the knees up.." [Chris Rock] So are you saying you had an affair with Vernon Jordan too? "I made my intro, gettin fucked in the Pinto.." [Chris Rock] Monica you appear to be having sex with everybody How do the interns treat you? "They be suckin blackberry molasses out my asses.." [Chris Rock] Now now that we`re on it, how come you never had sex with Al Gore? "I got no patience for little dick tastin.." [Chris Rock] What about Ken Starr? "He be lookin fruity, but you still can eat the booty.." [Chris Rock] Now Monica, do you have any regrets about your relationship with the President? "Somethin I wanted, but I never was pushy The motherfucker never ate my pussy.." [Chris Rock] Hey, here`s the President right now, Bill Clinton! Now Mr. President, before we go, is there anything you`d like to say to Monica Lewinsky? * Eazy-E sample * "Bitch shut the fuck up! Get the fuck out of here!"
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