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Oh, ho, I`m single, and my life`s about me again. That woman long neglected, I`ll find out who I am. Oh, ho I`m single. I`m single and I`m loving it! I have taken up old hobbies, I have no time for a man. I`ll call up my old friends, the ones that I once knew So we can bond again, just like we used to do You`re married with two kids, oh gee, Well, that`s too bad for you. Because I`m single. I am woman I am goddess I`ve always loved fried green tomatoes, So it was always meant to be. I feel my rebirth. I`ll find a female soul mate. We`ll take off for the country, just like Thelma and Louise I`ve called up every household in phonebooks A through Z To find another goddess to share my destiny And now I`m quite convinced, the only single one is me. When I buy poultry, two thirds of it goes rotten I correspond with inmates and I don`t comb my hair. They`ve claimed my two legs as federally owned forest It`s been months since I`ve shaved them, Cause there`s been no one here to care They call me nasty names at every corner bar I need to see a shrink, this thing has gone too far Last night I threw myself down stairs just for the C.P.R. Oh, ho, I`m single and I`m not hearing voices!! You say that cause you`re jealous of all the fun I`ve had Wait, I`m not single. I`ve got some special friends now We live in here together and I don`t feel so bad I have a female soul mate, her name is Emily Don`t tell me you don`t see her, she`s standing next to me And she doesn`t call me sick or weird or deranged mentally Just cause I`m single.
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