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Then get this right? I`m driving along man I`m driving as I`m driving,
I`m driving safely. I`m obeying the rules..of the road. Whatever sign comes at me I look at it and I go ..Ok. you got it, sign. Right so I`m driving safely all of a sudden a guy in another lane, compeletly oblivious to me. He starts coming into my lane. JUST COMING IN And if I didn`t see him coming in..accident. But because I saw him..ah I see HEYY Right i see. I assess the situation. I see I assess the sit-u-a-tion. And then I uh eased on the brake. As he`s coming I ease. And I said what anybody here says automatically when this happens. You can`t help it. It just comes out, ready? ready?... Um, Hello? ...Um, Hi? Hello? Unless you`re black. If you`re black it`s a little different. If you`re black it`s uh check out this mothafucka..check out this mothafucka! If you`re chinese it`s *screech* *crash* So that`s...that`s nice. ********************************************************** I go to a car accident. I got in this car accident recently right? Not my fault! This car accident was not my fault. Right but you know how it goes...Get in a car accident, even if it is not your fault. The other person, they get out of their car, look at you like it`s your fault. Even if it is CLEARLY their fault, they get out. They`re like. Alright, why did you stop at a red light and let me hit you doing 80?! WHY DID YOU STOP AT A RED LIGHT? Then you get out right? You go you start looking at the damage. You start looking. Keep looking at each other and back at the damage Will you please come and look at my damage with me sir? If we look together maybe some magic will happen. This is horri- feel this! This even feels damaged! Do you have tools, can you fix this right now? This is horribly- this feels so horribly damaged. Even if I was blind I would know this is horribly damaged, by the way it feels. Then you gotta exchange the information right? That sucks cuz nobody ever has a fucking pen. You stand there. Do you have a pen- I don`t have a pen...Can you remember all my shit? Do you have a lipstick or something? A crayon? Right? So when you finally... here`s what happens. You finally get information going and you print your stuff nice and clean. There you go..there`s my. I highlight. Everything`s nice. You give him the... there you go. It`s in an envelope. Ugh yeah. Nice and - But then you get their information and it looks like, they were having a fucking seizure while writing it. You`re like dude you got like a 28 digit phone number going on here buddy. And under name you drew a picture of a monkey fucking a coconut. What is that? Is your name Monkey fucking a coconut sir? MFC? is that you? MFC? That`s a monkey... that could be a melon looks like a coco-nut. Then you take a second..here`s where it starts getting embarrasing right? You take a second while you`re doing the exchange. You just look around for a second and there`s people EVERYWHERE. They`re like building bleachers on the sidewalk and shit. People coming out of bushes... What? Accident? I`m gonna watch for awhile! Wow! They`re discussing it right there!
Прямая ссылка на текст песни Umm, Hello?: http://musworld.ru/music/eng/103/1/19181.html » Dane Cook - Five Sisters » Dane Cook - Slip `N` Bleed » Dane Cook - The BK Lounge » Dane Cook - Parking Structure » Dane Cook - Intro » Dane Cook - Tire in The Face » Dane Cook - Pregnant Lady » Dane Cook - Umm, Hello? » Dane Cook - Operation » Dane Cook - Car Accident » Dane Cook - Would You Rather... » Dane Cook - Speak `N` Spell » Dane Cook - Fireman & Policeman and Mini Putt Security Guard » Звездинский Михаил - Я больше Вам не напишу » Застольные песни - Песня цыганки » Звери - Для тебя » Земфира - Маечки » Звездинский Михаил - Эх, Россия! » Золотое кольцо - За окошком свету мало » Заречный Гриша - По кабакам » Земфира - Маечки » Забриски Поинт - Жожоба » Застольные песни - Вот ведь ты какая » Звездинский Михаил - Это очень легко » Земфира - Почему » Злата Кудинова - Белый снег » Земфира - Каждую ночь » Застольные песни - Как в степи сожженной » Зоопарк, Майк Науменко - Сельва » Зоопарк, Майк Науменко - Белая ночь (белое тепло) » Зверобой - Летим! » Зверобой - Цветы » Зоопарк, Майк Науменко - Сидя на белой полосе |
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