RU: 0-9 А Б В Г Д Е Ж З И К Л М Н О П Р С Т У Ф Х Ц Ч Ш Щ Э Ю Я
EN: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
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So! Being a fan of the use of language Being a fan of English, um I got this amazing letter from a fella named Boris. And I wanted to read this to you. He`s, he`s from um, the Czech Republic. And I wanted to read you this quick letter by the cat because he`s just amazing. And he wrote one of the greatest sentences I haveve ever read in my life and I very much want to share it with you. And I`m not trying to put the guy down, and I`m not saying `Oh he`s dumb.` He`s just a cat, he`s trying to use English and it`s not his language. You know, but he`s getting by. Like, how well do you get by in Czech? Right. Help?!? You know, you say `Check, please!` But you can`t get by in Czech. This guy`s struggling in English and he`s making it! And he`s, he is, he is avant. He is, he`s bebop! Check this guy out. This is 8/22/98 12:16 PM, Los Angeles, California Boris checks in from the Czech Republic with this burning missive: `Hello Henry, I`m sorry for my English, but I understand English very little, thank you for your favour. My name is Boris. Have 24 years in right Czech Republic. You played in Czech 2x. Both concerts, they were splendid.` OK. Check out this sentence. `On two concert, I`m shootive collective photo but small, fat, bald headed technologist be insane. ` Let`s milk it shall we? `On two concert, I`m shootive collective photo, but such small, fat, bald headed techologist be insane.` In translation, I think he took his roll of film to Rite Aid and had a bad Rite Aid experience. And you`ve all had that experience in Thrifty and Rite Aid where time seems to slow down. I think Boris got his film fucked up by the technologist who must be WHOOOOOOO!, a bit insane. I go on. `I compilation all material for you and band. I would like to read of your some book, but don`t publish in Czech language. This book should be successful in Czech Republic.` Sure. `I you for very much autograph or publicity material or answer in my letter. Thanks a lot for it. I wish for you, band much power, health, and energy at further way music. Goodbye in future concert in Czech Republic. Boris` The communique from Boris makes me think of how great a feature-length movie with this use of language would be. Could you imagine an intense courtroom drama with scowling, wildly gesticulating lawyers making a case for their clients, kicking it like Boris? Think of having the air flight attendent come on with an "English as a second language" message. `For making landing immediate time incredibly, broken moving not now, stupid motor on flaming. I declaration emergency!`
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