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ALBERT AND THE LION from the Stanley Holloway record There`s a famous seaside place called Blackpool That`s noted for fresh air and fun And Mr. and Mrs. Ramsbottom Went there with young Albert, their son. A fine little lad were young Albert, All dressed in his best, quite a swell. He`d a stick with an `orse`s `ead `andle; The finest that Woolworth`s could sell. They didn`t think much to the ocean, The waves they were piddlin` and small. There were no wrecks and nobody drownded, `Fact, nothin` to laugh at at all! So, seeking for further amusement, They paid, and went into the zoo, Where they`d lions and tigers and camels And cold ale and sandwiches, too. There were one great big lion called Wallace Whose nose was all covered with scars; He lay in a som-no-lent posture With the side of `is face on the bars. Now Albert `ad `eard about lions- `Ow they was ferocious and wild; To see lion lyin` so peaceful Just didn`t seem right to the child. So straightway the brave little feller, Not showin` a morsel of fear, Took `is stick with the `orse`s `ead `andle And stuck it in Wallace`s ear. You could see that the lion din`t like it, For givin` a kind of a roll, `E pulled Albert inside the cage with `im And swallered the little lad - `ole! Now Mother `ad seen this occurrence, And not knowin` what to do next, She `ollered "Yon lion`s et Albert!" An` Father said "Ee, I am vexed." They complained to an animal keeper Who said "My, wot a nasty mis`ap; Are you sure it`s your boy `e`s eaten?" Pa said, "Am I sure? There`s `is cap!" The manager `ad to be sent for; `E came and `e said "Wot`s to-do?" Ma said "Yon lion`s et Albert, And `im in `is Sunday clothes, too!" Father said "Right`s right, young feller- I think it`s a shame and a sin To `ave our son et by a lion And after we paid to come in." The manager wanted no trouble; He took out his purse right away, Sayin` "`Ow much to settle the matter?" Pa said "Wot do you usually pay?" But Mother `ad turned a bit awkward When she saw where `er Albert `ad gone. She said "No, someone`s got to be summonsed!" So that was decided upon. And off they all went to p`lice station In front of a Magistrate chap; They told what `ad `appened to Albert And proved it by showing `is cap. The Magistrate gave `is opinion That no one was really to blame, And `e said that `e `oped the Ramsbottoms Would `ave further sons to their name. At that Mother got proper blazin`: "And thank you, sir, kindly," said she- "Wot, spend all our lives raisin` children To feed ruddy lions? Not me!" filename[ ALBLION RP ===DOCUMENT BOUNDARY===
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