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He’s out on the back porch again
Beggin’ to get in for the night Nearly broke down the door And woke the house If not the neighborhood I hear mama’s mad, weary voice “What about that five-dollar bill? When you left it was gone. Now, I bet you know nothin’ about that.” “Yes, I seen it,” he said, “But I don’t steal from my only daughter. If I’m lyin’ I’m cryin’, And there ain’t a tear in my eye. I got thirty-five bucks For a paint job I done Junior Slaughter Now, I drunk it all up I cain’t help myself Yes, I do try.” When you lie to your child to her face With that poker expression Well, she slammed the door right on his ace Bolted it, too He slumped into the swing on the porch And was snorin’ To shut out the rumble I wound up my Whinny the Pooh Then a scratch on the window screen Woke me and choked me with terrror His shadow there looked like the devil Come after my soul But my grandfather’s masculine voice Said, “Come here to the winder.” Then he hand me five dollars. “Stick this in your poor mama’s purse.” “Did you take it?” I asked With the candor a child gets away with “Well, I mighta,” he said, “But I done it for her and for you. Piney Finn cut me in On the start of a surefire investment That five there is profit Soon there’ll be more comin’ through. “I better go check my investment,” He winked at me slyly Give grandpa a kiss His whiskery cheek scratched my face He turned with sad, broken smile Hobbled off to some bushes And fished out a brown paper bag From a fresh hidin’ place. When he didn’t come back for a couple of days You could see the concern in her eyes “If he’s tryin’ to make me feel guilty Or worried,” she said, “Then he’ll get a surprise.” But I could remember the time When he’d let me climb up on his back Ride me that way down the hill To DiMaria’s Dairy Buy me a dreamsicle Sing me an old army song And I knew that the time would return When he’d be his old self With his hair trimmed down close And his clean shaven face And the scent of Old Spice Ah, that’d be nice. He’s out on the back porch again Only after a month has gone by Stiff as a board with one hand on the swing And the other hand pressed to his side You can tell from his face it was painful Tho’ the hurt has gone out of his eyes “If ya ask me,” says Piney, “That bastard’s as thirsty In death as he was when alive.” Now he’s buried out in the back yard His stone’s got a cross on the top But by moonlight it looks Like a bottle o’ hooch With a corkscrew stuck into the stop And he whispers to me that his mouth is so dry There’s no weeds growin’ over his grave Coz I found a full flask In the juniper bush And I pour him a drink every day. If I’m lyin’, I’m cryin’ And there ain’t a tear in my eye “If you’re dyin’, I’m buyin’,” He lies to me, still. And I will always love him that way. Buy me a dreamsicle Sing me an old army song. Buy me a dreamsicle Sing me an old army song.
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