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Sitting in a cafe talking to a lady Having a discussion about S-E-X In her early thirties she was talking kinda dirty I was totally excited but a nervous wreck Then she said before we`d ever get to the mat I`d have to walk her to the altar What`d I think about that? Check Please! Quickly How much do I owe, it`s time for me to go What she wants to do ain`t on the menu So hey maitre d`snap one two three, check please I called her up the next day said meet me in the cafe Told her I was hasty could we try once more Red wine, candlelight couldn`t keep the subject light It headed for the gutter like the night before Then she leaned over and whispered with them drop dead lips How`s about we settle down and raise ten kids Check Please! Quickly How much do I owe, it`s time for me to go What she wants to do ain`t on the menu So hey maitre d`snap one two three, check please I`m in control, I`m doing fine, I could walk away at any time As a matter of fact, I ain`t never ever calling her back Back again the next night giving in to Miss Right Taking her home to meet the Mom and Dad Told her I would gladly wait for wedding bells to consummate Even if those cold showers drove me mad Then she gave me that "I want you right now" look with her eye As her toe started climbing up my thigh Check Please! Quickly How much do we owe, it`s time for us to go What we want to do ain`t on the menu So hey maitre d`snap one two three Check Please...
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