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Weighin` the options of life and death
Fantasizin`, goddamn it`d be nice to rest A .38 Smith & Wess` up against my flesh A nigga finally feelin` blessed once the trigger`s pressed Deep thoughts about my family, how would they react? Insomniac, left his world like a maniac A self-inflicted gunshot left me stretched out Stressed out, so depressed I chose the best route My family probably havin` fits cause I called it quits My niggas mad cause they probably think it was a bitch That shoe fits but it`s small like a combination No bitch alone can send me to eternal condemnation Shit I`m facin`s got me sittin` at the edge of my bed Head achin` cause I`m cryin` as I beg to be dead I can`t wait until this hot slug enters my head Finally for Mark tears are eventually shed Dear God, I can`t believe my life has come to this I soak my arms up in ice tryin` to numb my wrist I think about the opportunities I`ve had and blown Got nothin` else to do but think cause I`m that alone My hope is gone, went to college but I fucked it up Got kicked out, but my heart told me: suck it up! So I did, spent the next few years in hell I`m losing job after job seein` dreams fail Seein` niggas who ain`t shit get the luxuries Nice guys finish last, who gives a fuck for me? Reluctantly put the barrel underneath my chin My only witness is my best friends, weed and gin They know my sin cause I talk to `em every night My forty ounce is always there when me and God fight I close my eyes tight, ready for the twilight My life and death is just another ghetto highlight Goodbye life [ CHORUS 2X ] Dear God, do you listen when I cuss you out? Don`t it provoke you to respond to what I`m fussin `bout? Don`t it concern you that I`m losin` my belief Confusion from massive grief got me on my knees Why you refusin` to send relief? I spend most of my lonely existence thinkin`, conversatin` Tellin` the master of creation what I`m contemplatin` Arguin`, sometimes yellin`, tears swellin` Threatenin` to put one in my melon, finally expellin` My tormented soul from this unbearable hell I dwell in Searchin` like Magellan to exit this hole I fell in This hole I live in, askin` God am I not forgiven For my crimes in a previous life Was I a sinner cursin God in a devious life? Does Jesus Christ hold a grudge against me while others live the easiest life? With no struggles, no stress, no test Never knowin` demons like loneliness, never depressed Never jobless, never on they hands and knees Beggin` God please cure this poor man`s disease Was everything in church just religious fantasies Destroyed by science findin` ancient man`s debris? If you listenin` God speak to me and answer these Questions we been askin` since we covered plants with leaves Why do good people feel Satan`s wicked embrace? Why are good people sick and displaced? Why are good people forced to live a life that is empty and stressed? While the wicked seem happy and blessed Talk to me, the devil`s tryin` to walk through me Will you respond or will the coroner be forced to put the chalk to me? [ CHORUS ]
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