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Well you should see my story-reading baby, you should hear things that she says She says "Hon, drop dead, I`d rather go to bed with Gabriel Garcia Marquez" Cuddle up with William S. Burroughs, leave on the light for bell hooks I been flirtin` with Pierre Burton `cause he`s so smart in his books I like to go out dancing My baby loves a bunch of authors My heart`s so broke and bleedin` Baby`s just sittin` there doin` some readin` So I started watching some TV, played my new CD player too She said "Turn it off or I`ll call the cops, and I`ll throw the book at you" All this arguing made me get dizzy, called my doctor to came have a look I said "Doctor, hurry!" She said: "Don`t worry, I`ll be over when I finish my book" I like to go out dancing My baby loves a bunch of authors We`ve been livin` in hovels Spendin` all our money on brand new novels So I got myself on the streetcar and it drove right into someone The driver said: "I was looking straight ahead!" but he was reading the Toronto Sun So my honey and me go to a counsellor to help figure out what we need She said: "We`ll get your love growin`, but before we get goin` here`s some books I`d like you to read" I like to go out dancing My baby loves a bunch of authors Lately we`ve had some friction `Cause my baby`s hooked on short works of fiction So we split and went to a party, some friends my girl said she knew But what a sight `cause it`s authors night and the place looks like a who`s who Now I`m poundin` the Ouzo - with Mario Puzo Who`s a funny fella? - W.P. Kinsella Who brought the cat? - would Margaret Atwood? Who needs a shave? - he`s Robertson Davies! Ondartje started a food fight, salmon mousse all over the scene Spilled some dressing on Doris Lessing these writer types are a scream! I like to go out dancing My baby loves a bunch of authors We`ll be together for ages Eatin` and sleepin` and turnin` pages
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