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on the first day of xmas my dealer gave to me a bag of shrooms and some lsd we snuck into the park to steal some xmas trees but the cops pulled up and asked us nicely to leave we`re all fucked up on smirnoff eggnogg we crunch on candy canes and rev up all our chainsaws you give us 30 and we`ll tie it up at no extra cost we`ll take that 30 and spend it on pot we`re not too bright we flunk all of our classes gettin drunk get in fights cuz we`re bad kids our dads call us bastards mom`s always plastered we`re the closest thing to suburban gangstas cold air`s what we breathe our vests have no sleeves it`s hard to haul trees in subzero degrees we smell like evergreens all I want for xmas is my two front teeth and some mistletoe all up in this piece maybe a girl that`s free of disease and while I`m thinking, throw in a couple of g`s yeah I want my snowmobile treads to be fixed I want a ho who doesn`t mind my snowsuit doesn`t fit I`m just a hayseed selling trees to break trees know yer daddy hates me it`s drivin ya crazay even though my nose is runny get the honey`s cuz I`m $ but I never get laid can`t find my way into long undies I don`t trip, just dip, listen to country with my piss I write my name because I think it`s funny I`m so into this deciduous lifestyle you see dead tree and I see a cash cow I never bargain and I never back down put the back seat down and I take yer ass to tree town yer daughter`s givin me the eye so I am givin her a ride I`ll put up the tree myself and put up all the lights as long as I get all up in her tights all I want for xmas is my two front teeth and some mistletoe all up in this piece maybe a girl that`s free of disease and while I`m thinking, throw in a couple of g`s yeah I want my snowmobile treads to be fixed I want a ho who doesn`t mind my snowsuit doesn`t fit I`m just a hayseed selling trees to break trees know yer daddy hates me it`s drivin ya crazay
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