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Beware the Killer Tents! Beware the Killer Tents! Chorus: The tents are coming, over the hill We thought they were inanimate, but now they`re set to kill At Falcon Ridge this summer Somehow we`ve enraged the Falcon Gods Tents have turned to creeping crawling body-snatching pods It was time for the big hoedown It was Hillsdale `99 Susan Werner saw a tent pole grow like an ivy vine Eddie from Ohio through his rear view mirror saw How with reckless abandon they were eatin` people raw (Tents, that is) The Kennedy`s tore Greg Brown From his soul food bowl Said surely nothing good can come from Such a grassy knoll Time to cut the mustard And beat a fast retreat Cause Vance Gilbert`s looking tasty and those tents they gotta eat! (Jian: they like the dark meat!) Repeat Chorus Roger the Jester wasn`t joshing when he said "They`ll kill us all!" And an unHarmonius Wail announced the end of Ellis Paul Cry Cry Cry as they devoured Run Run Run as they hurl the undigested flesh of LJ Booth and Stacey Earle They`ll execute a Hudson crossing As the mother tent commands Slithering all the way from Utah Phillips Screwdrivers in hand To dismantle the machinery from where folk fests are flowing So this time next year this field will just be Wild Asparagus growing Repeat Chorus Beware the Killer Tents!! Tony Trischka`s hallowed banjo The hungry tents will sup And even Ani will be swallowed Up Up Up Up Up From Ferron they`ll exact their macabre vendetta And the Nields will never have the chance to get over that slut Greta! No Falcon Ridge performer will escape this ghastly crime Except for those who weren`t invited And those whose names are hard to rhyme What of Fruvous, you may ask Listen up! Let me explain! We joined forces with the tents And turned them into the King of Spain! Yes with this terrifying army Fruvous futures have been coupled We`ve pissed off the folkies But our ticket prices have been doubled! Repeat Chorus Beware the Killer Tents! Beware the Killer Tents!
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