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Father and mother divorced as I began the school in hamilton We had the same problem every night with daddy`s addiction Violence and drunkeness reigned his every day and made us down I felt really distraught as he finally left our home The time after was difficult, I felt rather unnerved Because of my ugly appearance, they treated me like a fool A misfit, I was derided by the girls of our school I reached the height of my mental quandary More and more I shied away and went my lonely way The time of retaliation will come Fear, pain, torment They will come Admiration, worship They will treat me like a god To talk with my schoolmates about girls was an abomination Possessing a girl was my biggest sexual imagination I had realized that this idea could never be reality Dazzled through my sexual lust I planned many different strategies I possessed no bad conscience only one aim in my eyes The act of cruelty considered the last details in my mind A long time to wait for the sunset and the sacrifice made me blind She was my number one girl, young with her long fair hair I struck her and dragged her body to the thicket where I raped her At this moment you were my girl and my dream was reality She saw my face, there was no other choice but to kill her Only now I had understood what I had done I left the scene of the crime quickly and went home I can`t live with the thoughts that I killed a young girl This was my past but I`m not proud about now Although I killed a girl, they couldn`t give me a life sentence After one year in the youth custody unit I will be free Fortunately we all live in a cracked system where you can kill
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