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[Chorus]
People wanna know why I`m so fucked up Could it be because of the way I grew up I didn`t have much and times were tough And I deal with this pain as a grown adult [Verse 1] Grownin` up was rough even though I had love I came up in an environment with violence and drugs My mom was an addict I was too young to see this I be playin` doctor with the hypodermic needles She told me not to touch`em they were for her boyfriend`s medicine I guess his sickness was addiction like hers it was heroin I`d see the bruises on her face she`d tell me that she fell Innocence prevailed and I believed her fairy tales Sometimes I hear him hit her and I`d hide under the covers Listen to the terrifying screams from my motha Vowing that one day I`d be big enough to beat him And now I am I hope to god that I don`t ever meet`em My father bailed out when I still a little infant I see`em now and then but didn`t know him what`s the difference He was an alcoholic anyway or so they say So I guess I didn`t need him in my life anyway My mom got clean and sober when that boyfriend shit was over Just a matter of time before it came back and took over Growin` up in the projects on food stamps and welfare Kids crackin` on my sneakers never had a new pair Mom did remarry though when I was thirteen But it seems that her dream man turned out to be a dope fiend Another one, shootin` up and gettin` fucked up And then yall wonder why I never been drunk or do drugs And then in High school I fucked up I didn`t pay attention Fuck detention and suspension, I ain`t doin` this I`m jettin` At 16 my whole world came to a halt I lost my mother to the devil and I felt it was my fault She was all that I had, now I`m sittin` all alone 16 years old trying to make it on my own Ain`t never graduated cuz I didn`t even bother Man I coulda been somebody if I tried a little harder Workin` full time for a minimum wage Wishin` I was on stage it wasn`t just a faze Dreaming of being the next rap star sensation I broke the hell out and took a permanent vacation Depression hittin` harder yeah I even thought of suicide Its do or die, and I ain`t doin` shit so I don`t even try and Gettin` high is all the peeps around me seem to do And I ain`t goin` that route, so I always stay true But now life is good I gotta wife that I love And a son in my world and I ain`t fuckin` this up So there you have it now ya know why I`m so fucked up And how a troubled child grows up a troubled adult But now I gotta chance to do things right for my son Keep him safe from these drugs and these thugs packin` guns I`ll make it in this world and I ain`t going to go and quit Channel all this negative into positive shit [Chorus] - 5X
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