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well I`m the soul-man at the microphone stand- you`re a 50 cent fucker I`m a million dollar man- and rippin` up shit is the god damn plan- don`t need no fuckin` muscles or a coppertone tan- I`m a skinny little fucker from the street- with some rhymes in my mind to make this rap complete- I never get tired - I`m retired- I`ve never been hired so I can never get fired- I don`t have a diploma or a GED- but you don`t need a degree to be on MTV- WOO HAW - hit me with my payrole check- it`s all about money so fuck respect- say I`m sellin out - well I`m sold- I`m gonna be rich when I`m old like mold- milldewin` - so you can say I`m screwin` - the pooch- when I`m hittin` the hootch - while I`m poppin` the kootch- booty shakin` with your girl on slow jams- your name Michael Jackson - nah - Soulman- so my life sucks, but yours does too- cuz your mommas fat and ugly, and so are you- sorry to burst bubble- hope I caused ya trouble- but you`re startin to look like Barney the fuckin Rubble- No harsh feelings, someone had to tell ya- just don`t come close so I won`t have to smell ya. pick it up, put it down- lay it on the ground- like Lionel Kiddie City, turn your frown upside down- Just like an ear test, listen for the sounds- Cuz like a fudge maker, I cut it by the pound- and you know I`m not a clown- so I don`t fuck around- I just hit on your mamma cuz her botty`s nice and round- I dont give a shit if she weighs 400 pounds- as long as she`s got meat, I`ll eat it all year round- her lovin might be crappy- but she`ll never ever slap me- cuz im the only man that`ll try to make her happy- so back off son or I`ll bite ya like Tyson- I`m not Puerto Rican, so I wont like the rice `n`- BEANS, BEANS, they`re good for your heart- you know the more you eat `em, you know the more you fart- I eat `em all day long so stay away from my ass- don`t follow to closely and don`t light a fucking match- cuz one little spark and -BOOM- explode- like the Power Rangers, I`ll be in turbo- Well now you now you know my life and how it sucks to be me- but I`m comfy this way like a pair of cord jeans-
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