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Hohoho woke up this morning With a scary feeling Realized it was november first Christmas, oh my god it`s nearing "what am I to do?" I said Then I covered up my head Prayed for sleep for two more months Until this holy mess is over Wasn`t that lucky turned on the tv Beanie babies on the news Biggest selling gift this year What`s a tired jew to do? So tv off tried to escape Called my friend from silverlake Said to meet on fairfax for Some coffee and a kugel Talked about our fear and dread Of tinsel lights and parties Suddenly like a bad dream Fairfax was transformed into a Holiday paradise Everywhere was hanukkah Shiny sparkly blue and white Isn`t this a little soon? I got up quick ran to the mall Before my pain got any worse What a stupid thing to do I`m a sitting duck in santa`s zoo Suddenly I couldn`t walk I couldn`t breath I couldn`t move Children running everywhere Screaming `tis the season Merry christmas Merry christmas But I think I`ll miss this one this year Merry christmas Merry christmas But I think I`ll miss this one this year Merry christmas Merry christmas I think I`ll miss this one this year Merry christmas Merry christmas I think I`ll miss this one this year December first the pain`s half gone Thought about adam`s hanukkah song He forgot to mention me That`s ok his song was better Photograph on santa`s lap I`m over my fear of shopping Bought gifts for all my goyim friends One for each not eight Sorting cards from all my friends Sweet of them to take the time One pile for all the christmas cards From friends who just don`t get it yet Hanukkah day on overload I just can`t stop eating I`ve had so many latkes that My toches is gonna explode Thought I`d walk it off And so I walked to the kabbalah Center just to kill some time I thought I spotted madonna Christmas day hanukkah`s done Woke up feeling funny `cause I have lost half my hair And I have spent all of my money What`s a jew to do today? L.A. is a ghost town Looks just like another year Of movies and chinese food Then suddenly I laughed and laughed Caught on to what was happening Christmas magic`s brought this tale To a very happy ending Merry christmas Merry christmas I couldn`t miss this one this year Merry christmas Merry christmas I couldn`t miss this one this year Merry christmas Merry christmas I wouldn`t miss this one this year Merry christmas Merry christmas I wouldn`t miss this one this year
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