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To "If You Give Me Your Attention." If you give me your attention, I will tell you what I am. I`m a brilliant math`matician - also something of a ham. I have tried for numerous degrees, in fact I`ve one of each; Of course that makes me eminently qualified to teach. I understand the subject matter thoroughly, it`s true, And I can`t see why it isn`t all as obvious to you. Each lecture is a masterpiece, meticulously planned, Yet everybody tells me that I`m hard to understand, And I can`t think why. My diagrams are models of true art, you must agree, And my handwriting is famous for its legibility. Take a word like "minimum" (to choose a random word), This was performed at a blackboard, and the professor wrote: //////////////// For anyone to say he cannot read that, is absurd. The anecdotes I tell get more amusing every year, Though frankly, what they go to prove is sometimes less than clear, And all my explanations are quite lucid, I am sure, Yet everybody tells me that my lectures are obscure, And I can`t think why. Consider, for example, just the force of gravity: It`s inversely proportional to something - let me see - It`s r^3 - no, r^2 - no, it`s just r, I`ll bet - The sign in front is plus - or is it minus, I forget - Well, anyway, there is a force, of that there is no doubt. All these formulas are trivial if you only think them out. Yet students tell me, "I have memorized the whole year through Ev`rything you`ve told us, but the problems I can`t do." And I can`t think why!
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