Текст (слова) песни: Weird Al Yankovic - Headline News
Once, there was this kid who Took a trip to Singapore and brought along his spray paint. And when he finally came back, He had cane marks all over his bottom. He said that it was from when The warden whacked it so hard. Mmm mmm mmm mmm. Mmm mmm mmm mmm.
Once there was this girl who Swore that one day she would be a figure skating champion. And when she finally made it, She saw some other girl who was better. And so she hired some guy to Club her in the kneecap. Mmm mmm mmm mmm. Mmm mmm mmm mmm. Mmm mmm mmm mmm. Mmm mmm mmm mmm.
They got paid for their sound bytes, And sold their TV movie rights.
And then, there was this guy who Made his wife so mad one night that she cut off his weiner. And when he finally came to, He found little Mr. Happy was missing. He couldn`t quite explain it, It`d always just been there. Mmm mmm mmm mmm. Mmm mmm mmm mmm. Mmm mmm mmm mmm. Mmm mmm mmm mmm.